Thursday, March 13, 2014

Of Witch Doctors, Water Bottles, and the New Bermuda Triangle

It always amazes me when people refuse to take advantage of technological advances like immunizations, online bill paying, and Twitter. Generally these people are few and far between, or remain confined to my facebook feed where I can unfollow at will. Until last week I (and probably you too) was blissfully ignorant that there were entire regions where people put their faith in mechanisms not backed up with technological data. Then we met Malaysia.

Malaysia is one of those countries you learn how to find on a map in 3rd grade and then promptly forget ever existed. It is not to be confused with Malta, the Maldives, or the Micronesian Islands, which sound extremely interesting but are down by Australia so I'll never find out due to my paralyzing fear of Australian lizards and insects. But now we know all sorts of things about Malaysia. 

We know that Malaysia has a thriving community of witch doctors, and that though Malaysia sounds reputable with companies called modern names like Malaysian Airlines, they still let the witch doctors dance about with melons and divining rods, performing their own special brand of voodoo magic to find a missing 777. 

We know that Malaysia doesn't like to believe companies as reputable as Rolls Royce and Boeing, both of which have been around far longer than Malaysia has been named Malaysia. Though both companies have reported that their data shows the missing plane flew around for a number of hours after Malaysia reports losing contact, Malaysia prefers the more obvious answer that the plane simply vanished. Though Malaysia may not have all the comforts of American living, they do evidently watch our television shows, and they may have taken Lost a little too literally. Planes do not simply disappear, and though an old professor of mine once said that there could be another dimension where socks vanish, it's highly doubtful that planes can slip into that dimension with as much ease. 

We know that Malaysia is a place where logic doesn't always exist, for their search efforts have even exasperated Chinese citizens who have loved ones on the missing plane. Though they have experience living under a governmental regime that doesn't like to give answers and cares little about the lives of human beings, they see Malaysia's problems. When people living in a communist country are protesting your government, you know there's a serious problem.

But hey. There's a place in this world for everyone, and everyone has a place. On the bright side, this shows us that Malaysia is a good place for those who wish to freely indulge their ignorance, ignoring what science has proven, and the relatively low-risk comfort of technology. If you're the type of person who believes that the increase in polio is entirely a fluke, perhaps you would enjoy Malaysia. It's a place of magical happenings, where logic doesn't always exist. And for those who are missing loved ones, please know our thoughts are with you.

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