Monday, July 29, 2013

Why I Hate Star Wars

I'm contrary by nature. It took me a while to get used to this, but I finally have, and I've moved from being passively aggressive about being contrary to out and out in your face contrary. Maybe this makes me another disillusioned Millennial or just a grumpy old lady in a twenty something body, but I'm past caring. When someone gushes about something, I immediately take the skeptical point of view and wait to gush until I am convinced. I've been this way since I was little, and no other subject immediately shuts down my internal like button like Star Wars does.

I was born during the 80s, so for a long time Star Wars dimly hovered on the edges of my consciousness like a migraine waiting to pounce. From the time I was four years old I knew in my heart that I had no interest in these films that everyone else seemed to like. I can't explain why. I just did. Now I find myself surrounded by people who have fond memories of Star Wars, and are super excited to see the latest reboot. I know I should be excited. I love JJ Abrams.  But I find myself completely disinterested.

Someone once tried to convert me to the dark side, because I had a stuffed animal from the land of Obi-Wan Kenobi that had been around for the majority of my first seven years. I think it was a tribble. Or an ewok. Something like that. It had blonde fur and wore a maroon hood, and reminded me vaguely of a member of a cult. For most of the relationship it didn't have any batteries, and when my mom popped some in right before putting it out at a garage sale I remember how shocked I was. I had no idea that it made weird little noises and its Christmas light eyes and nose lit up. Or maybe that was a mouth. Who knows. I think I tried to plead its case, but my mom reminded me that the more stuffed animals I sold, the faster I could save up my money to get the American Girl doll I so desperately wanted, so I plopped it unceremoniously back down on the table. It's not like I ever really loved it anyway. I think it served mainly as the mute villain in most of my stuffed animal schemes. Probably due to the cultish hood.

I've seen snippets of Star Wars. Out of desperation for reading material I once read a picture book that was born out of the massive Gen X response to this trio of movies. I know Carrie Fisher is the daughter of Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher, and that she was in one of my favorite movies, the great When Harry Met Sally. And I know Alec Guinness was in it, the guy who stole my heart in Grace Kelly's last movie, The Swan and built the eponymous bridge in Bridge Over the River Kwai. Once, when confronted by a child fan, Guinness advised the boy to never watch the movies again. I like Alec Guinness. He knew the importance of contrariness. And if Alec Guinness could be contrary and be the great actor he was, then I can be as contrary as I please. Perhaps contrariness is linked to greatness, merely because contrary souls refuse to follow everyone else down the path of the least resistance. So I'll be over here embracing my contrary nature. I'll continue to passionately dislike Mumford and Sons, Star Wars, Law and Order spinoffs, and anything else I take a fancy to disliking. What's the point of pretending to be someone you're not?

1 comment:

Mike Ciandella said...

How can you hate Star Wars just because? That's like hating Casablanca, or the Wizard of Oz, or any other movie classic.