Tuesday, January 29, 2013

How Clothes Make the Man

A few weeks ago I happened to ride the metro on No Pants Subway Ride day. If you aren't familiar with this, this idea began in New York City (of course) where a group of improv actors decided it would be good fun to ride the subway without pants. They take photographs of it every year and it's all fun and games, because of course they only photograph the best specimens of humanity for these things. It seems like a cute idea when you only see the best polka dotted boxers on fit guys and striped boyshorts on pretty girls. It all looks like something out of a fun advertisement by American Eagle or Target or some such store.

A few years after its inception, the pantless tradition moved to DC and probably to Chicago and San Francisco as well. It being in January, I usually miss this event because I invariably have a cold in January and don't venture far from my couch, but this year, having just gotten over my annual cold I was going shopping with my brand new roommate fresh off the plane from Sacramento. I think I warned her, but I had completely forgotten what day it was until we were confronted with two guys wearing tight navy briefs with bright neon stitching over the pertinent parts as we were coming off the escalator. I am pretty sure my mouth dropped open. Subtlety isn't always my strong suit. In retrospect I admire them for their courage and coordination in wearing matching briefs. Suddenly we were surrounded with men wearing all sorts of random undergarments. There were some girls there as well, but the majority of them were male. It is very disappointing to come face to face with a cute guy who has the right amount of fashion sense to look nice on top only to realize his legs are the size of tree trunks and the rest of him is lacking as well.  But perhaps I am old-fashioned in my thinking. All I know is that if I were a guy and doing this I would wear my best boxers and forgo the stitching and bright colors. Save those for the second or third date.

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